I'm Not a Fan

I didn't like the steroid injection treatment one tiny bit!

I'd read so many positive reviews on the Facebook site for subglottic stenosis, 

that I went in with a positive attitude. But honestly, it sucks. 

The bright side: I trust my doctor (he is top in the field and at the forefront of this condition),

and he was very calm and explained each step as he did it so I was able to relax.

Also, I'm good at relaxing.

And his assistant was also very positive and calm.

Yesterday while walking in Sugarhouse Park, I listened to an All In podcast with Brooke Snow who had a pulmonary embolism after the birth of her second child.

While being ambulanced then life flighted to a hospital, she concentrated on just being able to breathe. She was inspired with the thought, 

"Jesus is the breath of life."

She repeated the mantra on every breath in and every breath out.

I'm so glad I'd heard that, because I did the same thing and it really, really helped.

It didn't really hurt, but my airway was obstructed and numb which was a scary feeling.

And at one time I couldn't breathe. But my doctor calmly talked me through 

a technique to get air in. (Short, slow nose breaths.)

I was so relieved when it was over and so grateful for my doctor's quiet manner.

And that I survived without choking or gagging too much.

A photo I found on the internet showing the doctor giving an injection through the throat.

The assistant is behind the patient holding the laryngyscope (which is inserted through the nose, past the vocal cords and to the stenosis). Behind the doctor is the video screen showing the inside of the trachea where he's inserting the needle. 

We know this isn't me, because my doctor and his assistant were Covid covered in yellow gowns, clear facemasks, head covers so that head to toe they wouldn't get infected in case I had Coronavirus -- especially since they're working in my trachea and I'm coughing.

(I was also grateful they were willing to risk their safety to help me get treatment.)

Another internet photo of the needle and injections.

The down side: It felt very traumatizing. 

First, the taste and smell of the anesthetic that I have to snuff up and swallow along with the scope.

And the part when I couldn't get any air.

And then after when I coughed up a ton of blood.

It was really just emotionally nexhausting.

So when I got to my car I put on my meditation music ("I Am," by Nirinjan Kaur)

and cried the whole way home. A good, cleansing cry.

Then I crawled into bed for a few hours.

I had a really bad sore throat the rest of the evening 

and my neck muscles were really sore.

And my voice is weak and tires easily.

But it was nice to sit outside by the firepit with Dan and Nick.