Involving God

I've got a big decision to make right away and the deadline is looming... I'm having incontinence surgery and probably also an endometrial ablation. Do I have my rectocele/cystocele fixed as well? I'm hesitant because I don't really want the physical setback of any surgery. And the rectocele fix adds a few weeks on to the recovery. But it also seems necessary. I've searched the internet for answers. I've talked to my doctor. I think the only people who can help me with a final decision is myself and God.

It's interesting that when I need to make a decision for myself, I tend to doubt that I'll recognize the answer. Even though I have so many experiences of God answering prayers and such a strong testimony that he does. And yet, I second guess if this is important enough for him to get involved. Even though I know it is. Isn't that strange about human nature? We know, but its so easy to doubt what we know.

I listened to a podcast today on my walk: "All In." It was an episode interviewing David Butler. I listened to him and Emily Belle Freedman's podcast called, "Don't Miss This" last week -- they focus on the week's reading in Come Follow Me. To be honest, I didn't love the dynamic between the two of them. Maybe I need to get to know them better. But I liked this interview with him called "Getting to Know Jesus."

My favorite parts:
1) "... [we] are loved, you know, as [we] are, just in that spot that [we're] at, like, you don't have to make it to this grade level, or this righteousness level or whatever to be loved by God to be able to be helped by Jesus, He is there. He comes and meets you where you are. 

And I think people don't believe that, you know, they're just like, "I don't think He would come to somebody like me. Do you know the thoughts I have? Do you know, like the things I've said? Do you know the things that I want to do?  The things I've done? Do you know all these things?" And it's hard to accept that and understand. 

That's why I said kids don't have a problem with it. Because no kid at Christmas time opens up a gift and says, "Oh, no, no, no. I do not deserve this. You should not have done this for me. This is way too expensive. No, no, no, no, I feel shame. I feel shame that you gave me this gift." No kid in the history of Christmas, or birthdays, or Hanukkah, for that matter has ever, ever done that, because kids know how to accept GRACE. They know how to accept forgiveness, they know how to accept second chances. And somewhere along the line when we get a little bit older, we don't feel like we are worthy of it, that we deserve it. And that's the very definition of gift. That's the very definition of grace. 

And like we would have a really shameful feeling accepting a really expensive gift, people can't believe in a Jesus that would love them the way that he does. That is so hard for a person to accept that He would love someone like me. We have a hymn that says it. You're supposed to stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers you. In fact, it should floor you. I don't know why you're standing. It's that good of news. "

2) But what happened to Peter before that scene when they're on the beach, and Jesus had cooked them breakfast, and he asked him three times, "Do you love me? Peter, do you love me? And he's like Peter, do you love me? And then it gets a little awkward. And he's like, yes, Peter, do you love me at this point? Peter's like, come on, not in front of my friends. You know, like, why did you ask, you know, why didn't you ask Thomas, he didn't even believe you're resurrected. But He asked him those three times. And it's such a funny scene. You know, he's grieved and then he says to Him, you know that I love you. And I kind of think it's a moment where Jesus is saying, Yeah, but I know that you love me, but I needed you to know that you love me. Because our last interaction was one where you, you know denied me. But even though you've made mistakes, you're okay. You still love me, we're still in relationship with each other like, this is fine. 

3) [Do you remember when the Church put focus on keeping the sabbath day holy? It began from] the question that the Quorum of the Twelve took to the Lord was, how do we increase faith in God, the Father and the Son in the world? Like, that was the heart and soul of the whole. And then the answer to it..one of the answers that came back strongly was give a day -- let's honor the Sabbath. 

4) And in our services, let's preach good news. Like that's gospel, right. We want people to walk away from these meetings loving, adoring and worshiping Him. Give good advice in one of the other meetings. Right? Advice is something you should do. We should do this. We should, we should, we should—if the talk sounds like that, it's not worship. That's not good news. You know, it's let's look at Him. Let's turn our hearts to him, let's look how good he is and how gracious he is. And then I think that leads to a person wanting then to be a disciple, but it's got to be in that order. You know, news is reporting of what has been done. And I said, let's tell what He's done. Let's tell the glad tidings and the good news. 


Speaking of good news, I read Joseph Smith History the last couple of days, and Oliver Cowdery's account of translating the Book of Mormon by Joseph's side and receiving the priesthood and baptism is so sweet. He's enthusiasm is contagious. It made me see how simple and joyful the message of the Gospel can be.