Parenting Lessons

I found Chris and Nick's Jedi braids while cleaning out nightstands this morning.

They were about 5 and 9 when this style was popular.

That Jedi braid fad wasn't my favorite (at least it wasn't a rat tail!), 

but it certainly wasn't the end of crazy haircuts (or not-cuts) I wouldn't have chosen for my kids. 

And you know what? 

I got to the point where I actually liked their various hair styles. 

So much so that when they considered making a change, 

I was worried I wouldn't like the new look as much.

(Even when their hair was long and they wanted to cut it short, 

which is what my preferred style would have been, had I always been the one to choose.)

I'm glad I learned to embrace their choice of hair style.

I discovered it went hand-in-hand with embracing who they were and loving them just as they are.

A lot of people have said, "it's just hair, it grows back," it's not a battle to fight.

Which of course is true. 

But it's a lot nicer if in addition to simply being patient, 

you can actually see the kid behind the hair and love everything their haircut means--

appreciate their uniqueness, or desire to fit in, or rejoice that they're finding a personal style, thrill in their confidence to express themselves, or pat yourself on the back that they feel free to be who they want to be.

What a gift a parent can give their child.

And now these little mementos -- wisps of braided hair --

bring back such a longing to hug those little boys one more time I can hardly stand it.

***

Yesterday when Chris and I were in the car together, I saw a couple of kids on one-wheels. 

It reminded me of how much he loved his Heely's and how bad he wanted to wear them to the airport.

Just once I said yes. And maybe another time he snuck.

I probably had a good reason for saying no -- it seemed irresponsible and disrespectful to let him skate all over the busy airport, even if I did understand how cool it would be to glide by on the slick floors.

But yesterday I told him I wished I'd said yes to Heely's more often.

But he didn't remember all the times I said no. 

He remembered the one time I said yes.

Maybe that's the definition of Grace.