My Story: Repenting and Gratitude

Sunday, January 23, 2022

Repenting and Gratitude

So earlier this week I mentioned I felt gypped because

other wards in our stake got cancelled but ours didn't.

That comment has been lingering in the back of my head for a few days causing me to reflect on it.

I mean, I don't have to go to church. No one's making me.

And the more I thought, the more I remembered,

I actually like church. I love hearing testimonies and insight from our ward community.

I look forward to seeing friends and meeting new families in our area.

I really enjoy my calling in Primary. I've always loved Primary songs.

And let's be honest, I love being up front teaching.

I'm finally learning the kids names and feeling comfortable in what and how much to prepare.

In fact, I only teach a couple times a month because my partner and I trade off, so it's not even every single week. How lucky is that?

So what was I grumpy about?

Well, the work preparing for singing time, mainly.

It's a lot of time and hangs over my head when its my turn.

Especially when I want to be writing or doing other home responsibilities.

Especially when I haven't been there for a few weeks so I'm coming in cold not knowing exactly how everything was taught the previous weeks. (Did they learn actions? Do they have the verses memorized or do we need to work on that? Or will we plan for it but find they already have them memorized? Little stuff like that. That's that I worry about.)

But I actually love it. I don't think I'd want another calling. If I had a choice to not have a calling or to teach singing, I think I'd choose to teach singing. I really do. I love getting to know the kids. I love that they wave at me! Last night I came out of the store in the dark and a friend called out,

"Adi saw you come out of the store and said, 'that's my singing teacher!' and wanted to say Hi!"

How can I not love that?

So this morning I repented for my flippant comment and gave thanks instead.

For the privilege of worshipping. Of taking the sacrament. For singing songs of praise, worshipping with people I love, belonging to a church community. Setting aside a structured time to fill my spirit, quietly meditate and feel God's love.

This morning was so lovely. Just what I needed. All the time in the world to sit in the sunroom,

pray, study my scriptures, write in my journal. Then I did the dishes and tidied the kitchen and table while listening to Christ-focused music.

The talks in church were beautiful. The speakers were open and vulnerable and sincere.

They were funny, enlightening and spiritual.

And I was reminded that I also love church because I'm boosted by the thoughts and insight from those who speak and teach. Not too different from the podcasts I love. But these are people I rub shoulders with. And also those who will love and support me when hard times come. Who I will be able to serve when difficulties arrive in their lives. An expanded community beyond just the borders of my street.

We've been pretty busy lately. Good busy. Wonderful busy!

But I don't think I've taken much time in weeks, even months, to sit quietly and ponder on spiritual things.

Well, actually I'm always pondering spiritual things. (SO glad we can get spiritual boosts even driving in the car and we don't have to rely on only communing with God while we're on our knees!!)

But there's a difference between thinking about important stuff as we go about our day

and SITTING STILL. I need the stillness. My spirit needs it to be filled.

Years ago in the temple I recognized an important truth.

Even though my mind doesn't comprehend everything that goes on there,

my spirit recognizes it. It's familiar. It recognizes truths I was taught before I was born.

I understand my spirit needs certain things to be whole.

Today was one of those days.

I am grateful.