Melancholy

I felt a little melancholy today as I went about my morning. First I went to a funeral for Mr. Gregory, a beloved math teacher at Olympus Junior. Not only was he a fantastic teacher, but he made a huge difference in Courtney getting comfortable with being a girl who loves math. And taught her to ask questions which became the foundation of who she was as a student with a desire to learn. Courtney sent me memories she collected from several of his students in her year and I pasted them into a memory book to give to the family.

Since we couldn't actually attend the funeral, a large group of families, teachers, students and parents lined up along the drive of the cemetery to wave as Mr. Gregory's family entered. They were waving back, videoing and we were standing close enough to the cars driving in to see several family members gasp and cover their mouths as they started to cry when seeing so many who loved the man they loved.

Right after the funeral, I went to get my monthly Covid testing before my procedure next week.

Covid tents and cars lined up for testing.

When I got home, I started to feel quite anxious. And didn't know why. The funny thing is I didn't associate the morning's events to my feelings. Instead I thought, "I don't feel like doing anything but lying on my bed and reading a good book." And then I thought, "However, shouldn't I be more productive? Go out and exercise or clean Chris' room, or fold laundry." But those things sounded too hard. And then suddenly it dawned on me, of course I'm feeling blue! I always start feeling anxious the week before my procedure! And I just went to Mr. Gregory's funeral and I'm so sad that such a wonderful man has died so early in life. And I'm grateful to him. And also, Chris just left and suddenly our house feels so empty. And when Nick goes to work tonight, it will just be Dan and me at home. Which sounds awesome, but also lonely. And tomorrow is the 4th of July and all the fireworks shows are cancelled as well as the party in Holladay park which we always look forward to. And I'm supposed to quarantine anyway after I get Covid tested which is a downer because shouldn't we have fun on a holiday? And finally, Covid really sucks because it's messed up everything fun. 

And when I realized I had lots of reasons to be down and out today, and it was ok to feel crummy, and I didn't have to be productive, I picked up book #14 in the Ladies #1 Detective Agency series and got lost in the world of Precious Ramotswe in Botswana and instantly her practical and soothing familiar voice made everything all better.