Originally written October 2010. I think I was going to write more, but got interrupted. Maybe was going to end on a more positive note. But I think I'll leave as-is because that's real life.
Last September my sister came to babysit while Dan and I celebrated our 40th birthdays! While we were relaxing, sleeping in, staying out late, dancing, singing, eating gourmet meals and laughing with friends, Bekah was getting up early, fixing breakfast and lunches, shuttling kids to and from school, playdates and sports practice, cleaning house, doing laundry, helping with homework, making dinner, washing dishes, inviting kids' friends over to play AND mommying her own three-year-old -- wiping little hands and faces, reading stories, squeezing in naptime, listening to giggles and whines, cutting up dinner into bite-sized pieces, potty-training, disciplining and cuddling.
All while being 8 months pregnant.
When we got home she said, "I don't know how you do it! Your life is crazy!"
"It's soooo much easier than it used to be!" was what I said. AND I don't have a 3-year-old and I'm not pregnant! That makes a BIG difference!
So today Sheree said, "Do you actually like Tuesdays?" And yes, I do like Tuesdays. I LOVE Tuesdays! I drive a lot, but tt's wonderful to drive around and spend time with your kids and their friends when I'm not buckling in a baby into the carseat or listening to anyone wail because they're STARVING, or be in a RUSH because if I'm not home at the exact moment a child goes down for a nap, the whole day will be ruined!
(The time I cried in Macy's because the lady helping me was SO inept-- asking 10 different people if I could return the tablecloth I JUST BOUGHT--and the 5 min. process ended up taking 40 minutes and was SO SLOW that my baby fell asleep in the stroller. And that meant no nap at home. And that meant my day was going to be a living HELL! And yes, I started crying right there in the store.)
I loved having babies and toddlers. But let's face it, it's hard work being a mom and each day getting yelled at, screamed at, or listening to sobbing because they're tired, hungry or strapped in a carseat all day and it's ALL YOUR FAULT.
I guess I will add a postscript from the future. I don't have people yelling or crying at me anymore, but I think sometimes they may be yelling and crying on the inside. And its no more easier to ignore. And I still worry that some things that I neglect to do/teach/say may end up with me feeling like their life choice is "all my fault." But they also say sorry and I say sorry and we work together to help each other. They also say, "What can I do to help?" And then they do it. Or I can ask them for a favor and they're happy to pitch in. And they say, "Thank you." And most importantly I get a lot more sleep now!
1 comment:
Man! This blog post is SO SO true! Thank you for taking the time to record a glimpse of real life for most moms out there so that we can all feel a little more understood and reassured that this is normal and will pass and be fulfilling... somehow.
Being a mom is a difficult and wonderful role to lead. My heart goes out and hat goes off to all who dedicate themselves to being the best parent they can be, which is that we should expect from ourselves, no more or less. Then, when our "mommy" days are over, we can rejoice, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." I believe that the blessings of parenthood outweigh the hardships even during mortality - let alone in the heavens, which may be just a blink away. God is loving and merciful. Our very best is what he expects and is all that is required. His grace makes up for all our gaps. Now if I could just believe my own convictions ;) Cheers!
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